You can't hurt me : Johanna Mason's life
by jellybean5898
Summary: Johanna Mason won the 68th Hunger Games. This is her life starting from her games up until the end of Mockingjay.   Better than it sounds. Johanna's POV.
1. Chapter 1 The Reaping

_I know it's short, but the next one's are way longer. And it gets better, so please give it a try._

_Thanks! Please review!_

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I wake up- no, it wasn't just a dream. I'm still in District Seven, and it's reaping day. The air feels as heavy as lead, I've got no way to get out of this hellhole. I've thought about escaping far into the woods and living out there, I could make it. But eventually, the lumberjacks would get to where and I am, and who would come with me?

Nobody likes me. I'm repulsive. But hey, just because I rip a head off with an axe and they can't doesn't mean they should be haters.

I climb out of bed, get dressed. _Johanna Mason, you are not going into the Hunger Games._

But for some reason, I can't force myself to believe it. There's a chance- yes, there's thousands of slips, but still. Honestly, I'd have a chance, but in the Hunger Games, anything can happen.

I comb my long, brown hair and walk down the stairs. The reaping is at 2, and it's 1:30. 1:30? I slept for so long. I guess because I couldn't get any sleep last night.

By the time I'm finished breakfeast, it's time for the reaping.

Everyone in District Seven files quietly into the square. I find a place to stand and everyone moves away because they're scared of me. Mayor Angers reads the Treaty of Treason. Then Baily Tayers comes bouncing up.

"Oh! It is such an _honour_ to be here!" She blabbers on a bit about how amazing it is to be here. I'm about to scream at her to shut up when she finally says,

"Happy Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be _ever _in your favour! Let's begin with the ladies!"

Baily dips her hand into the ball. I stand as still as possible, clenching my grass necklace tightly, teeth clenched together, but not showing it. Feeling paralyzed, Baily finally finds a slip that satisfies her.

"And our lucky tribute will be..." Her bright pink lips move slowly, and the name forms on her lips. "Johanna Mason!"

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Woah! Who saw that coming? (;

Anyway, so I don't own the Hunger Games. Suzanne Collins does.

_**Jellybean**_


	2. Chapter 2 Goodbyes

Steadily, I climb onto the stage. The second my foot hits the step I know exactly what I'm going to do- pretend to be weak. I know it'll work. They'll think I'm vulnerable, leave me alone, and then when they find out I'm the one to kill, it'll be too late.

"Would anyone like to volunteer?" Baily asks, obviously excited.

_Shut up, Baily, _I think, _nobody ever volunteers. _

My thoughts come true when not a single person in the crowd moves. I stand completely still. Of course, I'm scared. When it comes to the games, nobody can be sure of his or her life.

"Okay. Congratulations..." She looks back down at the slip. "Johanna!" I resist the urge to roll my eyes.

"Time to pick our boy tribute!" Baily screeches in her annoying Capitol accent.

"Amarack Tarral!"

_Amarack Tarral... Amarack Tarral. _I'm trying to think of how I know this name when suddenly the memories surface in my brain and I'm fighting for air, though nobody notices.

The sounds of Baily asking for volunteers gets muffled by my own thoughts. I remember Amarack Tarral.

_"Johanna, you are the fattest, ugliest bitch I've ever seen. Nobody likes you. The world would be better without you!" _

I was in the 8th grade, and that day, I punched him in the face, got suspened. That was the day that I swore to myself if we ever ended up in the Hunger Games together, I'd kill him. I even told myself that the odds were against it, but somehow, here we are.

"Shake hands!" Baily orders.

Amarack smiles, reaches forward as if we're old friends, and offers his hand. I take it and squeeze it so hard he probably lost circulation for a moment. Then I flash a smile, turn back to the crowd, the cameras, and wave goodbye as we're escorted off the stage and to the Justice building, where I'll say my final goodbyes.

The first and only people I know will come in are my parents, and little sister, Zemetria. My mother, known to be weak, begins to cry the second she sees me sitting on the couch.

"Mama, it's alright," I say, though I'm not the best at comforting people.

Zem looks at me with her bright brown eyes, just how I looked when I was four.

"You will try to win, won't you Hannie?" She asks.

"Of course I will, but I can't promise you I will."

"Well, what happens if you lose?" Zemmie asks. I bite my lip.

"Well... you..." My mother doesn't let her watch the Games, so she doesn't know what goes on. I take in a deep breathe. I'm going to tell her, I know that if I lose, she'll be wondering why I'm not going to be coming back.

"You die," I say shortly.

Her eyes widen immediatly, a tear rolls down her cheek, and I start crying, too, because if I'm going to be weak, I have to cry.

When the Peacekeeper orders them out, I prepare myself for the cameras. Weak face on. I turn and look at my family, and this may be the last time I see them in person. Then the Peacekeeper shoves me along and I load the train.

It begins to move so rapidly, my home is almost gone and we've only been on for several minutes.

I might start crying, but still, I say:

"Goodbye, District Seven."


	3. Chapter 3 : Strategies

Blight Sayers and Marie Anderson are the only living victors of District Seven. There was three, I think, but she died last year. Not a big deal. She hasn't been a mentor for years and she kept a low profile.

The tribute train is fancier than anything I've ever been in. My quarters are bigger than my house. I order a roll and butter, spread it on and take a big bite.

A knock on my door and a squeeky Capitol accent tells me it's time for dinner. "Dinner time, Johanna!" And I better come down NOW, before my meal gets cold.

When I arrive downstairs, I'm thinking maybe a simple dinner. The largest meal I've ever seen is sitting there. Steak, pudding, soup, fruits & vegetables, everything you can imagine. Even the rolls that I ordered earlier- my favorites.

I pretend to eat when in reality, I'm just stirring my spoon around in my soup. Even with all this food, I don't feel hungry.

"So..." Marie begins, but is cut off by Baily. "Why aren't you children eating! Eat, eat! This may be the only chance you get. After all, you are being sent to die!" She exclaims. "Though the Games are exciting, don't you think?"

Blight, Marie, and Amarack stay quiet, but I slam my hands against the table, push myself up, and punch Baily straight in the face.

I know you aren't supposed to hit girls, but I feel that applies only to guys, and I punched her. Also, she's cheering on guys stabbing, choking, spearing, and shooting girls with arrows.

I walk away from the table, into my room, and slam the door shut. A chill runs through me. I know I'll regret the blow to her face in the morning, but right now I feel satisfied.

Satisfaction is a thing I don't get very often, only on special occasions. Despair is the word that usually overcomes my body.

Suddenly, I'm in the graveyard in District Seven.

_I take a in deep breathe and exhale, making small puffs the same white color as the snowflakes falling slowly around me. I clench the flowers tightly and push open the cold metal gate to the graveyard. _

_Walking down the first aisle, second, making a left, and kneeling down in front of a small stone. My knees turn pale white and I'm shaking, possibly close to getting hypothermia, but I couldn't care less at the moment._

_The words __**Xavier Mason **__are neatly carved into the stone. My fingers run across it, freezing at the touch, feeling every letter. Running my fingers in a circular motion around the __**o**__ in Mason. _

_My dear cousin Xavier, who was only 14, was a victim of a lumber accident. It had been a bright sunny day, a perfect day to chop down trees, and he decided to go with his father. Standing underneath the biggest tree all day, the men didn't see him. The tree was falling, he was screaming, but it was too late._

_This boy was one of my best friends- we'd pull pranks on our teachers, tell each other the pranks we pulled solo, everything._

_And now here I am, laying blue and white flowers on his grave._

_"I love you, Xavier."_

I gasp. How do I remember that so perfectly? I pull down the covers and hop into the bed. It's nice, but I like my one at home better. I'd leave her without thinking if they'd let me. But they won't. I may never leave here.

Except maybe in a wooden box.

Somehow, I find sleep, but when I wake up to the knock of the door and Baily's voice quietly telling me it's time for breakfeast, I fling open the door before she can leave.

"Baily!" I say, louder than usual, even though she's standing right there. "I'm sorry I punched you. I think I may have some... anger issues I need to attend to."

"Well..." She considers me a moment. "Alright. I understand you are under a lot of stress, being a tribute and all, so I'll forgive you, though I hope you'll do no more bruising to my cheek bone."

"Thanks. Now I guess we'll go to breakfeast," I say.

When I arrive for breakfeast, Blight, Marie, and Amarack are already there, eating eggs and toast and waffles and panckakes and french toast bagels and everything you can think of to have for breakfeast.

I eat waffles, eggs, toast, and am halfway finished my bagel when I have to run to the bathroom and it all comes back up.

Amarack starts the conversation. "So, are we to discuss our strategies?" He asks.

Blight taps the corners of his mouth his napkin, like Capitol people do. "Well, I usually discuss the actual strategies with the tributes when we arrive in the Capitol. But we can talk about what talents you have. Unless you'd like to discuss them in seperate."

I glance at Amarack, but he's already watching me. "Shouldn't I just talk to Marie about mine and him talk to you about yours?" I question.

"If that's what you want."

"Okay, Marie, we'll talk in the Capitol," I say, and force myself to smile. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to my room and mope about how I'm going to die soon."

When I get to my room, I'm only up there for a few minutes when theres a knock at my door.

Who could that be? Possibly Marie, as I think she's the nicest person here. Then Blight. Baily. And lastly, Amarack. I don't want to talk about the Games, though. Because after watching them all my life, seeing the horror in them, I know that I would never want to be in them.

Slowly, I open the door to my room.

I was wrong. It's not Marie. Or Blight. Or even Baily.

Standing in my doorway, a foot away from me, is Amarack Tarral.


	4. Chapter 4: Mending

_Why is Ammarack Tarral in front of me?_

"Johanna," He steps in before I can protest, slam the door in his face, yaknow. "Look, I remember what I said to you when we were in eight grade, and-"

Why is he doing this?

I cut him off and roll my eyes. "How could you not remember? It was two years ago? Still feel the same way, hmm?" I cross my arms, knowing I'm not going to automatically trust him. Why would I? He was a jerk to me!

He hangs his head down. "I wanted to say- I'm sorry. For everything."

I won't believe him for a second. He's just scared I'm going to bury my axe in his head. "Yeah, why now? Why when we're going into the Games? So I won't kill you? So you'll gain my trust and then reveal everything to the Careers and other players?"

"No, I mean it. I just didn't want to die with the guilt," He says softly. I drop my arms and the fling helplessly by my side.

I put my foot in front of the other, ready to walk towards him and shove him out the door, but I stop myself.

"Will you forgive me?" The look in his eyes says he's serious. He cares. I can't be sure.

Still, I hate myself for what I say next. "Okay. I forgive you," I shrug.

A smile forms on his lips. What did I just do? Forgave the man who called me a fat bitch and told me the world would be better without me?

"Oh, thank you Johanna. I wouldn't be able to die with the guilt of calling you these names. And I know we aren't both getting out of these games alive- you know that, I know that, there's no point in pretending. But I hope it's you."

I hate myself more than I do than before for blushing. "Oh. Um, thanks."

"Yeah. So I was thinking maybe we could get to know each other better," He shrugs. "You know, in the few days we probably have left."

Something twirls around in my mind- I take a look at him- tall, dirty blonde, bright brown eyes, strong, but not a physical phenomenon. He's just right. The most intreging thing about him is his smile. When he smiles, he shows off perfectly white teeth, straight, all the right size, just... perfect.

Suddenly, something warm and fuzzy stirs inside me. It feels so real when it floats to my brain and whispers, almost to quietly to hear. It whispers things and I hold myself back. Don't do it, I tell myself.

But the voices keep coming, all whispering one thing.

"So, do you want to sit and talk?" He asks.

All night we lie on my bed, and I get to know Amarack Tarral. A boy of 16, like me, who used to play football, loves the color green, can bake but always ends up burning something, talks fast, tries his hardest in school but can't seem to get good grades, and works in the lumber industry (of course). He used to work with his father until he died last summer in a lumberjack incident, like my cousin Xaiver.

"Wow. You are an interesting person," I whisper into him.

He smiles, showing off those amazing teeth and laughs quietly. I look up at him and the voices hit me like a ton of bricks. So hard, so damaging, I don't know what I'm doing.

And I hate myself more than any of the things before for what I do next.

I lean in and kiss Amarack.


	5. Chapter 5 Chariot Rides

I push the covers down. Great. Today's the day of the chariot ride. And today I meet my stylist. I've heard Blight and Marie discuss her, unhappily, I might add. Pretty sure her names Yemenda. Ew.

Then I shudder as I remember kissing Amarack. I didn't mean to. Well, I mean, yeah I did. But I pulled away and darted down the stairs and hid in the cabinents below the sink. When I finally got the courage to go back up a minute later, he was gone. That's when I peeked out into the hall and came to a conclusion:

Unless a bear ripped his head off and took it with him, he'd gone back to his room. So I went back to bed.

Slowly, I get out of bed. Brush my teeth, even though breakfeast is in a few minutes. Take a shower and let the automatic blow dryers do the work of the towel, making my hair silky and shiny- something it's never been before.

When Marie comes to my door to inform me it's time for breakfeast, I walk into a room with the same delightful meal as yesterday. In no time I've gobbled down all I can hold- hot chocolate, strawberries topped with whipped cream, a warm bagel fresh from the toaster with cream cheese spread over it.

Amarack proceeds to come in while I'm halfway finished with my bagel, and when I glance at him for only a moment, it is certain he's avoiding eye contact. Probably embarrassed that I ran out after we kissed.

"Good morning!" Baily decends into the dining area from her room. It is a shock to all of us, how she can be so bright and cheery at a time like this, but then it hits me. She encourages these games. How could I almost forget?

"Sorry I'm a bit late for breakfeast! I set my alarm a few minutes later by accident!" She sighs like it's the worst thing that could happen to her.

I take in Baily- with her yellow hair she fluffs unhappily. She seems to think it's pretty, but I think it looks the color of piss. Too much makeup, noteably messy this morning. Her bright pink lipstick must've been put on in a hurry and bright blue eyeshadow, which is a bad way to wear my favored color.

"Morning," I mumble, and continue to munch the last of my bagel. I lick the cream cheese off of my fingers and Baily sighs, once again, unhappily. Must be my 'manners.' Every escort is like this, but at least she's not the worse. The only one I've seen on TV who gets so urked if you have bad manners is some chick named Effie, who's got bright pink. She's the escort from 11. Wait, 12... I think.

Blight starts to talk. "Alright, Johanna and Amarack, you both know you'll be meeting your stylists today. Amarack, yours is Pobeni. Johanna, yours is Yemenda. You are _NOT _going to like what they'll do to you, alright? But just cooperate, please?" He asks, not in a begging tone, but it's important.

"What kind of name is Pobeni? And Yemenda?" I ask, disgusted.

"They're from the Capitol, Johanna," He says, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. It kind of is.

Baily seems to take this offensively. "Well, you guys like my name, right?" She begs, batting her eyelids. "It's not weird?"

Shaking our heads, we all say "No!" in a sarcastic tone, but she doesn't seem to get it.

"Oh good!"She squeels, relived.

When I'm finished breakfeast, I'm hurried into a room where I meet 'Yemenda'. At first I don't see her, but she comes out from behind a curtain. When she gasps, I'm slightly startled. She knew I was coming... "You're Johanna! The girl tribute from District Seven!" She squeels.

"Uh... yeah?" I resist the urge to say _duh. _"You were expecting me, weren't you?"

"Ah, yes!" She's got bright tatoos on her arms. The color blue, of course. Her thick lips- must've had plastic surgery. And her hair...oh, her hair. Blue and green and orange and red and yellow and everything... Just rainbow.

"So, what are we going to be this year?" I ask, taking a seat on a red sofa. Yemenda twirls around, her blue dress following a bit behind her. It's so shimmery and clean, unlike anything we have back home.

I sigh in my head. They live such a good life here. In the districts, it's a miracle to get a good meal. I fantasize about what it would be like to have a full belly all the time, to live old, because they didn't die early from starvation or a sickness gone uncured.

"This year, me and Pobeni, the other stylist, have decided we're going to dress you as trees! It's _sooo _District 7!"

"Weren't we trees last year?"

"Well, yes, but..."

"And the year before?" I raise my eyebrows.

"But..."

"And every year for as long as I remember?" I question.

She sighs. "Well, you're trees. What else are you going to?"

"Wood. Fire, since it's burned here. I don't know. There are lots of things to do if you knew a thing about my district besides it's the lumber industry," I retort.

Her prep team attacks me. Getting rid of all my hair. Fixing up my hair. Putting makeup all over my face. And then I get dressed in what I think is the ugliest tree costume ever- Ruffled leaves poking out of me, the bark, in every which way.

When I get into the chariot several minutes later, Amarack is already there. He stands stiffly by my side. The gates open. First District 1, 2, 3... and then us. The District 7 chariot with brown horses (Wood, you know? Get it?) that pull out a few moments after 6. Trained, I guess. Just for this.

When we loop around the city circle, I wave a bit, smiling at the crowd the slightest bit. Some scream my name. "Johanna!" I hear one lady scream her head off: "Do you love Amarack?" I kick my ankle to remind myself I need to act weak. My smile fades and I look down.

Perfect. My acting skills I used in second grade are finally coming in handy.

When we get back, I hop down. Yemenda is there, squeeling. She grabs my hands and I resist pulling them away, annoyed, because the other tributes are still there and I need to still look weak.

"Johanna! Wonderful job! EEEEEEEH!"

_Don't roll your eyes._

Marie comes up to congratulate me before whispering, "How about we go back to the training center?" She leads me back and I punch the 7 button on the elevator. We wait until we're safely off the elevator to speak.

"So, that's your training strategy, huh?" She asks.

"What?" I'm shocked. How could she tell already.

"Pretending to be weak."

"Well, yeah. Can't believe you actually noticed."

She smiles and walks away.

I sit down. How did I end up here? Oh, right. The Hunger Games.

Amarack comes out of the elevator.

Before I know it, I'm out of my chair. "Amarack!" I grab his arm, wondering if he'll even stop. He does, and I follow his gaze down to my hand on his arm. He doesn't look happy. I tug it away, and my face burns.

"Amara-" I start.

"I know. You made a mistake. You don't actually like me. I understand. You know and I know we both aren't coming out of these games together, maybe even neither of us."

"No, I-" I try again.

"Johanna-" He gently touches me hand. "-I promise, it's alright." His voice is hollow and he walks back to his room, probably to take off his stupid tree costume.

When I get to my room, I tug it off and toss the leaves and 'bark' to the corner. But then I leap into them and snuggle up close, pretending I'm in District Seven. It's morning and I'm headed out to chop down some trees...

Oh, how I miss it.

It's a shame I'll never go back.

_Hope ya liked! I'm working on the next few chapters. They'll be up in a day or two. I'm going to upload all of them at once though._

_Jellybean._


	6. Chapter 6 Goodbye, Caring

Today is the third day of training. For the past 2 days, I've been very convincingly acting weak. Amarack's noticed, but hasn't said anything. I pick up a sword I saw the girl from 3 having trouble holding. It's so easy to pick up- but I pretend it's a load on my feeble arms (that are covered in muscles.)

When it's time for me to go in by myself, to show the Gamemakers what I've got, to show them how weak I can really be, I walk in in the wimpiest way I can.

"Okay, Johanna. Just show us what you've got," says Seneca Crane, Head Gamemaker. I turn around and curse at him under my breathe.

I pick up swords, drop them. Try and shoot with a bow and arrow. I even pretend to be weak with the axes, which comes as a shock to the Gamemakers, as I'm from Dis. 7, of course!

I leave the room in high spirits.. Then kick my ankle so the tributes from 8, 9, 10, 11, and 12 don't see me all happy, yippy-skippy. I walk by them slowly, shoulders slumped, and when I'm safely out the door and onto the elevator, I do my victory dance.

_But this doesn't mean you've won the Games! _A voice in my head picks at me.

_**But surely you will, Johanna! **_A different one chimes in. _**You're so strong!**_

_So what if she's tough? Have you seen the other tributes? Preferably the ones from 1, 2, and 4. They've trained for this. You haven't._

_**Yes, but there's still a chance.**_

_Only a chance._

_**She'll win!**_

_How are you so sure?_

I shake my head and they fade away. That was one of the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me.

Both voices are right. There's a chance, but not a promise.

When I'm back up to floor of District Seven, I meander around, hoping to find Marie. When it's confirmed she's in her room I go to mine and brush through my hair. I want to look appropriate at dinner, and my victory dance messed up my hair.

I hear a door open and peek out. A few doors down I see Marie emerge from her room, sigh, and make her way downstairs, pushing her brown hair out of her (who would've guessed?) brown eyes.

I casually leave my room just as Baily is approaching it to call me for dinner, as usual.

"Oh!" She squeels. "Well, lets go then!" Marie turns her head at the squeeling and I hurry upto her, not wanting to be alone with Baily even for a few moments.

"So. Tommorrow, Interviews Practice. Then interviews The next day, well, you know..." She says slowly.

.

Yes, I do know. The games.

I haven't even gotten a chance to worry about them. You know, people attempting to kill me.

We eat dinner. We chat. We watch the training scores. Amarack gets a 7. I, however, get a 2! I pretend to be a bit upset, because I haven't told Amarack about my strategy.

When he leaves for bed, I catch him as he's walking by my door. Tug him in.

"Amarack," I say, waiting to see what he says. Will he leave? Say 'Yeah?' or 'What?'

"Umm..yeah?" He asks.

"I know you think I don't care about you or something but... I do. It's just... I can't..."

"It's just what?"

I bite my lip, feeling inferior. No, I don't like him _that way. _Yes, he does like _me_ that way. What am I supposed to say? _"I don't like you so in the Games I won't be that upset when you die." _ I care, but I want to come out of these Games, even if it means him, you know, dying.

"I care about you, okay?" I say.

He studies my face and looks into my eyes. I look into his. We're standing a bit close to each other, so I begin to take a step back. But he grabs my wrists and kisses me right on the lips.

I want to pull back. His eyes are closed, mine are wide open. But he's still holding my wrists and I won't be able to escape if I do and provide more embarrasment for me and him.

And this is my room. So I squeeze my eyes shut. I guess you could say he's a good kisser but I'm hating this because I don't want to hurt him.

He lets go and wraps his arms around my waist, carrying me to my bed, probably to put me to sleep.

"Amarack, I-" He puts his finger on my lips.

"Shh..."

He lays me down, but instead of leaving, gets on top of me and puts his hand under my shirt. I gasp.

"Amara-"

"Johanna it's okay. It's our only chance to ever do this. Then we'll never experience it."

"No! Stop!"

I don't like this. I wish he would stop. I hate this.

I shove him off me and smooth out my shirt. "Get out!" I scream, pointing at the door.

"But Johanna, this is some of the only time we have left!" He says, and kisses me again. I push his chest and slap him across the face.

"OUT!" He glares at me and closes the door behind him with a loud slam.

My knees give way and I land on the couch, hands on forehead, my elbows half on my knees, half on my thighs.

How could he? Just try and do that with me?

_Kill him, Johanna! _Says a voice.

And that's what I'll do, when I'm in the Games.

I'm going to kill Amarack Tarrall.

_In a writing mood, so I'm updating a lot! Hope ya enjoyed & read the next one!_

_xoxo_

_Jellybean._


	7. Chapter 7: It's time

Who does he think he is? I lay in bed all night, just trying to find an answer. I'm supposed to be taught interview stategies but I don't want to. I'll do it tommorrow, anyway

He thinks I'm an ugly, fat bitch. He thinks he can control me. He thinks... he thinks... He's got a dirty mind. That's all.

He says, "We may only have one chance to do this." That's what he's thinking about? Not survivng. Not what the arena is going to be like. He says, _"It's alright, Johanna." _But it's not.

I hate Amarack. I feel like an idiot. For kissing him that night. For forgiving him. We have a love/hate relationship, but that was the last straw. We started with about 100, and he took out about 98 when he called me an ugly, fat, bitch.

Then one more by me when I ran away. Then that last straw was pulled out last night.

I shove the blankets off the bed and hop down. Dress in the outfit Yemenda left out. Have an avox serve me a breakfeast, because I'm not going down there to eat.

"Thank you," I say, even though I'm not supposed to. She nods and smiles.

Baily comes to my door. "Rise and shine, Johanna!" She says all sing-song like. "It's time for breakfeast!"

No response from me. She knocks. I don't respond. Tries to open the door, but I've locked it. I hear her heels tap-tap-tapping as she calls.

"Marie! Marie! Come quick!"

"What's the matter? Where's Johanna?" I hear Marie respond.

She unlocks the door and I lay under the covers, scratching my arms like I've been all night. They're bleeding painfully by now all over, but I couldn't care less.

Blight and Marie burst through the door. Amarack follows, I see through my tiny peephole. I'm gasping for air, feeling lightheaded from the bleeding that refuses to stop in my arms.

Marie pulls down the covers. Baily is standing in the corner like a scared puppy, with her hands over her mouth.

"Johanna..." Marie whispers quietly.

"What's going on?" Blight bellows.

Marie flips over my arms and gasps. Amarack is standing above me, and I shut my eyes. I don't want to be around him at all.

Amarack grabs my wrist. My eyes fly open.

_**I want to pull back. His eyes are closed, mine are wide open. But he's still holding my wrists and I won't be able to escape and if I do and provide more embarrasment for me and him.**_

_**And this is my room. So I squeeze my eyes shut. I guess you could say he's a good kisser but I'm hating this because I don't want to hurt him. **_

_**He lets go and wraps his arms around my waist, carrying me to my bed, probably to put me to sleep. **_

_**"Amarack, I-" He puts his finger on my lips. **_

_**"Shh..."**_

_**He lays me down, but instead of leaving, gets on top of me and puts his hand under my shirt. I gasp.**_

I start to scream my head off as the memories resurface.

"What is going on?" Shrieks Baily.

"Get him off!" I scream, and shake and pull. I'm being hysterical.

"Marie, why is she so-" Blight is cut off by another round of my screams.

Amarack kisses me-again! I can't stand it. Pulling away, I flop onto the bed, but he's still got one of my wrists. Using my other bloody knuckle, I punch him as hard as I can across the face. He releases my wrist.

He makes an "UH!" sound as my fist collides with his cheekbone. It's probably bruised. Baily shrieks again, Blight pulls me into his strong arms at Marie's demands.

"Get her to the health suite around the corner!" She says. Amarack leaves to get ice at the same time Blight carries me to the health place.

The lady there bandages my arms in band-aids and then covers them in guaze to 'protect them.' That makes no sense to me, but I don't resist or complain.

Todays the day I'm supposed to train for these stupid interviews, so I get, like, 4 hours with Marie and 4 hours with Baily. Yippie. I can't even stand seeing Baily for an hour at breakfeast, lunch, and dinner. And now I have to spend 4 hours with her- alone?

It doesn't go all that bad. I learn how to walk with a full length dress and in heels. It takes me about 2 hours to do each, but I do it. Then with Marie we discuss my training stategy and how it'll effect my interview.

"So, obviously, you're going to have to act weak in the Games. Over the years, I've made cards with the questions he asks the most often," Marie says.

It makes me smile, how she cares so much that she'll do that for her tributes. She begins to ask me them in her best Caeser Flickerman, which makes me laugh.

Then I look up, give a hint of a smile, and say: "So?"

Marie is beaming. "Perfect! You could be an actress!"

I smile. "Thanks."

She continues asking me crazy weird questions that, yes, Caeser does ask very often. I answer as best as I can, with my head down, my voice wobbly and soft, _but not too soft, _Marie warns_. I want the audience to hear me._

At the last question, Marie tosses the questions behind her.

"You're ready."

**The Next Day**

An hour is spent on getting me into my dress, which is actually pretty. It's dark green, like the evergreen trees back home. So soft and silky. It goes to right above my knees, and it does a good job making me look prettier than I am.

My makeup is simple. The lightest green: like a pea green, only lighter. Faded pink lipstick. Bronzer and blush. Mascara and black eyeliner. The prep team curls my hair, and they fall into beautiful spirals behind me. Then they take two stands of my hair, each on one side, and pull them back with a clip.

I've got to admit it. I look better than usual. And the tall black heels I can walk in. I spin around and strut.

Yemenda and the prep team squeels. I flash a smile and put one of my hands on my hip. Sit like a lady for them, like Baily teaches me. My whitened teeth look gorgeous when I smile.

"You look sexyyyy!" Yemenda nods, admiring her claps lightly with one of her hands clapping the others palm.

"Ahh! Johanna!" Jenny, Mellina, and Prendia shout together. My prep team is proud of me? For what?

When it's time, I walk onto the stage exactly five seconds after the last District 6 tribute, like Baily said I should. The crowd cheers and I smile weakly at them as I take my seat. The interviews fly by, and I don't listen to them much.

When it's my turn, I rise and walk over to Caeser.

"Good, evening Johanna!" He smiles as I shake his hand.

"Good evening," I say weakly, and take a seat.

When he clears his throat, he pauses a moment to think of a question. The crowd is silent, practically leaning in to hear what he'll ask, and even better, what I'll answer. The bright lights shine in my face and I turn back to Caeser, forcing myself not to squint.

"So, what is the strategy you'll be using in the arena? Do you have one? The crowd is _dying _to know, right?" He opens his arms and grins at the audience, who cheer in approval.

My mind goes back to yesterday, when Marie was testing me with her questions. It was the first one she asked.

_"What is your stategy that you'll use in the Games?" She asks._

_"Um..." I say quietly, look down and breathe in. Exhale. "I don't know. I can't do much." _

My eyes find Marie in the crowd. She raises her eyebrows ever so slightly, gives a small smile, and look back to Caeser.

"I...don't know," I say, and to be honest, I haven't given it much thought, except for I'm going to pretend to be a weakling. "I can't do much." I look down and choke down the urge to smile.

"Okay," Caeser says gently. "Well, what do you like the most about the Capitol so far?"

I don't know what to say. "Uh..." I hesitate. "I like how kind the people are," I say quietly looking down at my toes. Wiggling them ever so slightly, the brown nail polish that matches my finger shimmers. _Thank you, prep team. _I think._ For making me so beautiful people will still sponser me._

But then it hits me. If people sponser me when I'm in the games because I'm pretty, they'll buy me like it's rumored they do to Finnick Odair. I almost shudder. That's not what I want, and I won't have it.

"Okay. So how is your life back in District Seven?" He asks.

I take a deep breathe. My eyes flicker down to my shoes, at the crowd, and back to Caeser. "I'm from District Seven, as you know. The lumber industry. And I live at home with my mother and my father, who is a lumberjack, like the majority of those in District Seven. I go to high school." Shrugging, I smooth out my dress and put my arms over my ribs, as if I'm protecting them. Drop them back down.

The buzzer sounds, and I retreat to my seat. I wait as the rest of the Districts go, tuning out the laughter of the crowd and the questions Caeser asks.

When we get back to the training center, I sit in my room, peel off my pretty dress, and fall into the bed. It takes about five seconds before I realize I'm never going to get any sleep. So I climb out of the bed and walk into the kitchen, where an attandent gets me some hot chocolate I bring back to my room.

I fall asleep.

In the morning, my half drank hot chocolate is sitting on the side table, cold. I push it away. I stand up and dress in anything. Drink milk, no breakfeast.

I'm immediatly whisked to the roof, where Yemenda is. I'm frozen on the ladder when they insert my tracker. Ouch. It hurts.

In the launch room, I shower. Lather myself in lemony soap. Thoroughly wash my hair because this may be the last time I do.

When I get out, Yemenda dries my hair and I dress in the tribute clothing- Skin tight black pants, a polyester blue T-shirt and a black jacket that reflects body heat. Black boots, too, that are kind of like the ones we wear back home. Just fancier.

Yemenda pulls my hair into a ponytail and I turn myself into kick-ass mode.

A lady voice informs us it's time for launch. I walk over to the plate bravely.

"Good luck, Johanna!" She squeels. It closes, and I'm rising into blackness.

_Please, woods._

Pine trees. I smell pine trees and determination overcomes me.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, let the 68th Hunger Games begin!"


	8. Chapter 8 : Bloodbathing

With only sixty seconds on the clock before we're allowed to roam around, gather weapons, and kick peoples asses. I'm short of breathe already, but I still look around. Get a look at my surroundings. To the left is woods.

Oh, thank you.

Pine trees. Evergreens. Oaks. Every kind you can think of. I'm so thankful. Disadvantage for the others, but not for me. And they know that, too. I'm from District 7, after all.

I fix my eyes on the Cornucopia, close my eyes for a moment, and they pop right back open. Memories surface and tease my brain.

_"Hey, Johanna," Xavier says, tossing a peanut in his mouth and chewing it, still laughing at our 'throwing the cupcakes at the teachers' prank._

_"Yeah?" I ask. _

_"If you ever end up in the Hunger Games-" He begins. _

_"What? When did we start talking about the Games?" I ask, crossing my arms loosely._

_"-don't go to the Cornucopia."_

_"Why not?" I question suspicously._

_"Because when people go to the Cornucopia, they die. That's Career territory," He says, as if it's so obvious, and pulls another peanut out of the bag._

That was so many years ago. But I fixate my eyes on a set of axes and a large black backpack. I'm getting those, if it's the last thing I do. Maybe it will be.

The gong rings, and my feet move toward the Cornucopia. I grab the axe pack but lose sight of the backpack. The Careers are slightly slower than me, and I shake my head rapidly, when the backpack blurrily comes into vision. I grab it mindlessly with the three hands I see.

I turn and dart towards the woods. A knife comes whizzing towards me from the boy from One. I swerve to the right at the last moment, and instead of jabbing my head, it hits right below my shoulder.

Ouch. I tear it out and shove it in my pocket, no time to put it in the pack. Strapping my axes around my waist, I keep running and running. Others came this way, but luckily, when I stop for a moment to see if anyone is following me, no humans are in sight.

I am still jogging when I begin to hear the cannons. 12. Half of the players, gone. Right off the bat.

That's really good. Well, not for the people who died- who I'll see tonight. I don't know right now, but it's a good guess all the Careers are still alive and a scattered few from other districts, like me.

I climb up into the tallest oak I can find. Branch by branch, I find my way to a safe place. Then I open the bag, hoping more than anything to find water.

I'm not dissapointed. There's a full bottle.

"Yes!" I whisper.

Also in the bag are matches, an apple, cheese, a long, sharp knife, and iodine for purifying water. It's not _that _much, but I also have my set of 3 axes still attached to my belt.

It's dark outside, and the stars shine brighter than the sun back in District 7. And the sun in District 7 is bright.

The anthem of the Capitol begins to play, and I know we're about to see all the people who died in the bloodbath today.

The first person that comes up is the girl from 3. Both from 1 & 2 survived. The boy from 3. Both from 5 and 6. The girl from 8. The boy from 9. Both from 10. And both from 12.

So who's left? All the Careers. The boy from 8. The girl from 9. Both from 11... That's all. Besides Amarack, who when I find, I will kill. I hate him so much right now...

I've decided I'll hide out until theres only a handful of tributes left. Then I'll show them what I've got.

I will win.


	9. Chapter 9: Not ready to die

_Hope you enjoy the next couple of Chapters, which are all Johanna's games! But I'm going to do this story up until the end of her Victory Tour, which you know is going to happen, and then make a new story, a sequal for 'Catching Fire' and 'Mockingjay'. _

_Xoxo_

_Jellybean_

The sound of a cannon blast awakes me immediatly. My eyes fly open and my vision is distorted for a moment. I blink and everything comes into focus. My gaze goes to the ground, where I'm terrified the killer is right under my tree. Nothing. Not as much as a footprint.

That's when I realize how cold I am. My fingers have gone numb overnight, and I silently wish I had a blanket. Apparantly, Marie has gotten my wish. How? I don't know. But a parachute decends slowly and lands right on my tree. In it is a thick, soft blanket. It's black, thankfully.

I look up into the sky, but nothing is there. "Thank you," I whisper, and I pull it up around me, before remembering it's daytime and anyone who sees it will notice it's a human. So I wrap it around my hands until the circulation is back and then pack it away.

I hope down, slowly, carefully, swing my head from side to side to confirm what I already knew: There's nobody around. Something good about me is I have excellent ears, not so excellent eyes. But they are just as important. If you can hear a pursuer, you can be more prepared.

All day I pick berries I recognize from home. I try to be as quiet as possible, but I sigh every time I think about how I _could _be back in District 7, not practically sentenced to death. If it weren't for that stupid rebellion.

It's not like it's _our _fault. So why are they punishing us? The children. They should punish the people who were _in _it! I shake my head and poke my eye on a branch, wiping away me thoughts.

Ouch. I come tumbling out of the tree, and with the whole country watching, it's kind of embarrasing. Then I remember I'm supposed to weak. I pretend to be severely hurt.

"Oooooooh," I groan in pain, suprisingly well.

Suddenly, I see a large boot from behind a tree about 100 feet away out of the corner of my eye. Gasping, I spin around, my supplies still in the tree.

The boy from District 2, without any allies, appears from behind the tree. He smirks and brushes his sleek black hair out of his face.

I claw at the tree. My leg wraps around it and I push myself up as hard as I can. I know I'm supposed to be weak, but would I rather survive then act weak in front of him. Climbing as high as I can, he pulls out a spear.

Adreniline kicks in and I climb higher than I should. My hand latches onto my backpack, and my axes are still strapped around me like a belt.

"So, it's you, huh? What's your name? Jehanna?" Kirel, the Dis. 2 boy, asks.

"It's Johanna," I say softly, resiting snarling.

"Well, _Johanna," _he says sarcastically. "Prepare yourself."

I'm not prepared to die.


	10. Chapter 10: It's not too late

Gasping, I try something I've only done once before.

I get into the best position I can, push off the tree and go flying to the tree on my left. The spear he hurls at me misses me by an inch, not even, because it scrapes my side. A stinging feeling comes from my side- which makes two injuries in 2 days.

I land in the tree, not perfectly, because I almost fall out, but my arms swing around random branches and I'm hanging off the side. Struggling to push myself back up, I grit my teeth and squeeze my eyes shut.

I'm still not prepared to die.

Eyes flying open, I look down, Kirel is pulling his spear out of the ground.

My arms hurt weak from starvation, even though I just had the finest food in the world, I haven't eaten in two and a half days. My legs are what the problem is. I ran all day yesterday as fast as I could, and they're so sore.

I squeeze my eyes shut, and pull myself into the tree. Why? Why don't I just let go, give up on life, accept defeat?

Because I'm Johanna Mason. And that's not what I do.

Kirel look shocked I managed to pull myself back.

The shock on his face quickly turns back into a scowl, and he turns, aiming his spear at me.

I feel like in idiot for what I do next. Jumping out of the tree, I try one of the only things I can do: run. Escape. Get out of there.

Kirel tries to pursue me, but he's all muscles in the arms, well fed, so he isn't as fast as me. I zigzag through trees which I know how to swoop around them, unlike him, and try to catch my breathe and ignore the jabbing pain in my side.

When I turn for a moment, I don't notice the log in front of me. I jump at the last second. Not enough. My entire body slams into the ground, ankle first. Ouch. Looks like a sprain.

But there's no time to think about it or do anything about it. I spring to my feet and try to stop thinking about Kirel in pursuit, because he's not that far away.

The pain on my ankle is unbearable, but I grit my teeth and continue running. Like I thought before over and over, I simply refuse to die. I'm too stubborn. Yeah, I've got a lot of nerve, guts, whatever you want to say.

I'm pretty proud of it.

Kirel is right on my heels, and I scale a tree quickly. Climb it as high as I can until the branches are too thin for comfort. Take a deep breathe, and prepare for my first kill.

I look down at my belt and pull out one of my axes.

That's when Kirel is at the bottom of my tree. He notices the axe I'm holding.

Laughing hysterically, he says, "_You _are going to try and kill _me?_"

No.

I'm not.

I jump from tree to tree like I did before, realizing I'm not too bad at this. Perspiration runs down my face.

_Win the Games, Johanna._

Kirel loses me. Or maybe I lose Kirel.

Something appears out of the corner of my eye.

I gasp.

It's Amarack!

He hears my gasp and turns, thinking he's about to die, and approaches my tree. I lean in, try to disguise myself in the trees, something I know won't work well.

Then he gasps, noticing me. My shoulders tense up and I turn around, hating this moment.

"Amarack..." I say, and my voice fades.

"Johanna," He says angrily, crossing his arms.

"What?" I demand, glaring at him. Why is he angry at me. This is _his _fault!

"I'm going to kill you know," He says simply.

What?" I say.

_Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! _

Four cannons. All Careers, because I can (barely) see camp far away, and Kirel standing there with a bloody knife.

Crazy he could kill them all like that. That's so many deaths for a Day 2, I'm shocked.

Now who's left?

Both from 11. Girl from 9. Kirel. Amarack. Me. Boy from 8. One other Career..

Amarack is counting on his fingers, and I swallow a bunch of air.

He looks at me. I look at him. Our eyes meet each other for only a moment before I flicker mine to somewhere else: A tree. Behind him. If I don't jump up high enough, he might grab my ankle, which is already throbbing painfully.

And then he'll kill me.

Well, sorry, Amarack, you can't kill me. Not on my watch.

I get into a position like a frog. This seems to confuse and infuriate him.

My ankle is killing me in this position, adreniline rushes through me, and I push off with my arms and feet.

In my slow motion stage, I fly right over Amarack. He looks up, mouth agape, and I breathe in as best I foot lands on a good area and I wrap my arms around it, pull myself up, and look down at Amarack.

"Wha- _Johanna. _I know you're not going to win. You are _so _weak. Get over it."

He lifts an axe and throws it at me. I flinch for only a moment, swerve to the side, and catch it.

Then I look at him, and continue jumping from tree to tree, with his axe. I lose him like I lost Kirel.

I'm still going to kill him. Just not yet.

For me, surviving is second nature.

The Games are just a part of my life. I can still go on and live. I refuse to accept defeat!

It's not too late, you know.


	11. Chapter 11 : One More

I know I skipped ahead, but the book says she hid out for a couple days and I thought that'd be boring. Oh and sorry if parts are cut off like previous chapters kind of like this: You know tha no he's not! Or something. Sorry. Some kind of problem, I'm trying to get it fixed.

_**Hope you like this chapter.**_

_**Don't know if I should continue or not. I don't think it's very good. :/**_

_**But please review so I know what you guys think! Thanks.**_

_**Thanks. **_

_**Jellybean.**_

_

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_

When I awake, I remember that I've been up in this tree, hiding, for three days. I'm starving and thirsty. All I've found is a little pond and have been putting water in it, topping it off with my iodine and it's all clear and pretty. For food, all I've got is the food that was in my bag and the berries I picked from home.

There's barely anyone left. Amarack and Kirel and the other Career. And those from 11. The other two died at the hands of the two careers left.

That's _1234..._ _**5**_ left, not including me.

I decide to wait two more days and see what happens. I sleep, collect berries, and nothing happens. When I awake on the second day, I hop down off the tree.

I guess it's time. I stretch out and head towards the Cornucopia, ready to kill off the Careers. I've been spending the past couple of days thinking about what's going on with the District 11 people and Amarack and Careers:

The District 11 people I spotted yesterday. The boy is strong, the girl...eh. But the boy is protecting her. Their names are Samany ( the girl ) and Jace. They pick the same berries that I do, must know them from the orchards, and hide in trees, which they are familiar with. Not as familiar as me, but, well...

Amarack has been staying in trees, like me, hiding from the Careers. He probably picks the berries as well, all of us learned about them in school. And I'm going to kill him now if I encounter him.

The Career Tributes... there's not much to say. _They're Careers._ They have all the supplies from the Cornucopia.

I hear a rustle from behind me. My eyes widen, my body grows stiff, my ankle still hurts, I have a scar from the knife on day one, scapes from Kirel's spear still burn. I swing around, my ankle aches and complains, but I focus on finding the stalker.

I look around, listen intently. The woods are silent. I look right and left, up and down, turn my head back and forth and let each ear pick up every noise possible.

All I hear is the wind howling ever so slightly. Then it comes again. Another rustle, from the right, I now know. Turning that way, I see him immediatly.

Of course. It's Amarack. Picking berries, not even noticing me.

I walk through the leaves towards him. He doesn't hear. I'm right behind him, most deadly axe in the air.

"Hey, Amarack!" I scream.

He turns, frightened, and realizes it's me.

"What are you doing?" He asks. "Trying to kill me?" He begins to laugh like Kirel.

It's like adding fuel to my fire.

"Trying? Hmf," I say.

I'm a few yards away.

"I'm not sorry for this. Because guess why?" I question. He doesn't look like he comprehends what I'm saying. Dumbass.

"-This is what you get for being such an asshole!" I scream, and release my axe from my grasp after swinging it back.

His eyes widen, the tip of it is right where his head is, flying at the speed of light. His feet jolt and he starts to move.

There's a horrific sound as the axe collides with his head. He screams so loud, the Careers will be after me in no time.

As he's laying on the ground, dying, I stand over his body.

"And _that's _what you get for what you did to me!"

I can practically hear the entire Capitol gasping at what I did. Yep. I killed him. Yep. I can murder. Yep. I will.

Because I just did. I walk away from his body and peek around a tree at the Cornucopia, sneaking peaks at the Careers that are left.

"I'll bet that Amarack kid just killed his District partner," Hensa, the girl from 2, says.

"Yeah, she's such a weakling. She's staying up in trees, though. So be aware of ambushing," Kirel warns.

Hensa considers this for a moment. "We'll be able to take her down, and then. . ." She stops. They exchange an awkward glance, then grip the weapons attached to their belts at the same time.

They eye each other, and draw their swords. Kirel has quicker reflexes, and manages to jab Hensa in the arm after she turns quickly. She stabs him in the leg and drags it down. A steady flow of blood streams down his leg.

He lets out a sound of pain and collapses on the ground. And now I'm thankful all I have is a sprained ankle, which is bruised and swollen immensly.

"I'll get the boy," Hensa says. "See ya later, Kirel." She walks towards my direction and I slide to the other side of the tree as she walks by it, holding my breathe.

She obviously has bad ears, because she doesn't hear my sliding. Then I realize how she is all bloody, especially the ears. She must not be able to hear much.

With my silent feet, I follow her and peek at her from behind trees. This girl is a murderer. Halfway through her quest, we finally hear Kirel's cannon.

She laughs a horrible, evil laugh.

_But you can't kill me._

She sets up her camp for the night and I pick a nearby tree. I'm ready to kill her at any time, but I think it may be of some use to see if she can kill those the District Eleven kids first. That would be a great relief.

But as she sets up camp, peers around for pursuers, obviously not seeing me, she lies in her sleeping bag.

I stay awake part of the night, thinking. She sits up, holding her sword. It's covered from top to bottom with Kirel's dry blood. It doesn't seem to affect her.

Me, either. I've seen a lot of blood and gore as of late. I wonder why people are so scared of me, besides I can kick booty. Maybe they can see the fight in my eyes. Maybe they know my story. No, they don't.

Nobody knows why I'm so mean.

Only me.

I was a sweet little princess of twelve years old. A girl with no muscles, no hate in her eyes. Always smiling. A girl who would wash the dishes for her mommy cause she cared.

People made fun of me because I was different. People threw things at me, told me I was stupid and fat. I worked out every day to get thinner. I finally did, but I gained a lot of muscle from my everyday runs. Now I'm a short, skinny girl with lots of muscle.

Amarack's the reason I hate everyone. He's rude. And if I'm a happy little girl, how can I ever expect something good to happen if I don't do anything? How can I expect people to be nice to me when I won't do anything back if they're not?

That's how I forced myself to push my guard up. And that's very handy in this world. I still see beauty in little things, such as flowers, and I'm not a _total _horrible person. Maybe I'll get better.

If I get out of here they'll send me to therapy, anyway.

My thoughts are smashed into a million pieces by a bloodcurling scream. Hensa on her feet immediatly, as I am up in the tree. I jump silently through the trees, which I'm now very good at.

"Samany! Samany!" I hear. Jace isn't killing her. I'm not killing her. Hensa isn't killing.

That leaves one very important question: Who- or _What- _is?

Hensa rushes towards where their voices are coming from, still not noticing me. Jace appears out of the corner of my eye, screaming his head off. But _why? _

I swin my head around the side of the oak tree I am, and Samany comes into my vision. Some kind of bear with sharper than sharp claws and larger than large teeth is chomping away at her.

Oh . My . . . Hensa gasps, and Jace turns towards her, tears streaming down his face.

Samany's cannon blasts, and Hensa and Jace are standing, thinking they're alone. Facing each other, there's no way to tell who will kill the other.

Since it's the middle of the night, it's hard to see. The bear muttation growls and opens it's eyes, which are a glowing bright green.

Jace kills the bear, and Hensa kills Jace almost immediatly by stabbing him in the chest right after he finished the bear off.

His screams force my eyes shut. Then I open them back up, watching as his pool of blood grows larger and larger, and there's nobody to help him.

Hensa and I both know one thing.

Only one more cannon.

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_One or two more chapters until I'm finished with Johanna's games. I might continue after that, if you guys want me to..._

_Please review & tell me!_

_Thanks._


	12. Chapter 12: The Last Cannon

I watch as Jace dies on the ground. His cannon sounds.

Me and Hensa. Hensa and Me.

It's time. I do a flip onto the ground, and she finally notices me. It's still dead night, and this was a stupid idea because I can barely see anything. But I can hear her coming at me. I dive to the left and her sword, still slick with blood, comes flying by me.

Adreniline overcomes my body, and I force myself to my feet.

"Johanna? You're the one still alive?" She asks.

"That's right," I say.

"Well, get prepared to die."

I'm not prepared. I'll never be prepared.

Because-

My name is Johanna Mason. And dying is not allowed.

I swerve to the right and begin to put some distance between us. Unlatch one of my deadliest axes from the belt.

Full-force. That's how hard I throw the axe at her. But she dives out of the way just in time. One more axe to throw. She still barely misses a collision.

Oh, no. Now what.

There's no time to brainstorm. I run full speed at the dead bear-mutt. Tear four of it's deadly venoumous teeth out.

Hensa is shocked. She's out of weapons except for one dull knife. I've still got my backpack, but it's up in some kind of tree, somewhere. I stranded it.

I run up, dive towards her and throw the chompers at her. My jaw hits the ground first and I bite my tonue so hard, part of the tip might've falled off. Who cares right now? I wipe the dirt out of my eyes and look up, hoping to see a dying Hensa.

No such luck. One hit the side of her neck. She's in excruciating pain, but it won't kill her.

The smart choice would be to pull the tooth out right away, but she's obviously not the brightest person alive. Perspiration flows down her face.

On the ground. That's where she is.

Standing next to my axe. That's where I am.

I pick it up, throw it at her, screaming my head off as I trip on my ankle. So much pain. Hensa scrambles to get up.

The axe whams her in the chest.

I gasp, and burst into tears. It's official, now. My tears make clear lines down my face caked with dirt.

My legs suddenly feel wobbly. I fall to my knees. Hensa is screaming and crying and bloody, and I turn my head away.

Save me.

I can't stand this, but won't show it. I stand all the way up, look into the sky, and wipe my eyes.

It feels like forever. Hensa fighting with herself to stay alive. But her body is slowing down, her breathes getting shorter.

I force myself not to squeeze my eyes shut.

And finally, it happens. It tells me I'm a survivor.

Because I am Johanna Mason.

And I just heard the last cannon fire.

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_I know! It was really short. I'll update really soon, maybe. If I get enough reviews. Otherwise I'm just going to end the story here, because I don't know if you guys like it or not. _

_So please **review! **_

_**Jellybean!**_


	13. Chapter 13: Crowns and Leaves

**I decided I liked writing this story, so I'm going to continue it. Enjoy!**

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I throw my arms in the air and jump really high in the air, and though when I land it hurts so horribly, I smile.

Claudius Templesmith's voice booms through the arena, through the Capitol. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the victor of the 68th Hunger Games- District 7's very own Johanna Mason!"

The roar of the Capitol is so loud, so very very loud, I don't know how my eardrums didn't burst. A hovercraft appears out of nowhere and I jump on immediatly. Waving goodbye at the cameras, I throw my free hand in the air and smile, but it's stuck like that since I'm frozen here.

My breathing gets short and the second they pull me into the hovercraft I pass out

* * *

I'm attached to tubes when I wake up. My ankle is wrapped up and there are crutches nearby. I've been running around with this sprained ankle when I should've been using crutches? A doctor rushes in immediatly when he sees I've woken.

"Johanna, you must want to know about your conditions," He exclaims.

"Go for it," I say tierdly.

"Okay, you sprained your ankle really badly. The ligaments are completely torn. They _were _stretched, but you ran so much, you tore them! Why would you force yourself to run, hmm?"

"To survive, idiot!" I retort, really angry.

The doctors eyes widen. He hurries out of the room and comes back with several more doctors. They strap me my wrists and ankles down, the sprained one very gently.

I wish I could leave the Capitol.

"When do I get to go home?" I half ask, half complain.

"Well you get crowned tommorrow and interviews about the games with Caeser the next day. Then you can go home, okay?" One slim, female doctor with long brown hair tells me.

No! I want to go home _now. _

_Please let me go home. Please. I can't do this anymore. I'm so homesick._

I start screaming and pulling off the restrains very easily. They tear and I try and get up but I don't get a chance to even get up when they jab a needle in my arm.

* * *

Once I wake up, I realize they've replaced the fabric before with metal straps, and I'm in a different room with no doors in sight.

_I must be crazy, _I think. _I must've gone insane._

That's why they've taken extra precautions. Tubes are attached to my arms. They've moved my pretty little crutches into this room. A doctor opens a door that looks like a wall to me.

"Johanna, looks like you had a nice rest!" He says.

"Filled with nightmares," I mutter.

"Oh, dear. Well it's morning. You get crowned tonight," He says.

This confuses me, but I remember that I won in the middle of the night. Well, it was only midnight, but I though it was the middle of the night. You can't always tell.

The only thing on my mind is Hensa. I feel bad for killing her. But if I ever want to see my baby sister and momma and dad again, I had to, didn't I?

"Am I insane?" I ask quietly.

"No," He says fiercefuly. "This happens to almost all the victors right after they've won their Games."

"You sure?" I ask. I seem pretty insane.

"You're fine," He insists, and walks out the wall-door. I rest my head against the back of the hospital bed and close my eyes.

Dark. It's dark. My eyelids fly open and I'm in a state of panic. I can't quite see right, I don't know where I am. I pull out the restrains, manage to get some of the tubes off myself, and alarms start to screech.

For some reason, these alarms remind me of the gong that started the Games. I start screaming my head off, I'm obviously sweating. A team of doctors rushes in to calm me.

_I don't belong her. I belong in District Seven. Please, please let me go back._

My thoughts melt like a popsicle on a hot summer day back in District Seven, and my head is pounding.

The doctors reattach tubes to my arms. I reach down for my belt, feeling like I'm still in the Games. Short of breathe, I try to unlatch an axe that isn't there.

The doctors are frantic, telling me things like, "Calm down" and "It's okay" and "You're safe now, you're out of the Games, Johanna."

I start to relax and lay my head down.

_I am fine. I am out of the Games. I am safe._

When they finally let me go get prepared for my crowning tonight, I maneuver around on my crutches to Yemenda and my prep team.

Yemenda is so excited to finally have a victor for her district. She blabbers about how "I've been a stylist for the longest time and we never have any Victors!" as she does my makeup. Pretty neatural.

The problem is getting my hair to work. They make me take a shower. I have to use an entire bottle of conditioner to get half the knots out of my hair. The prep team combs the rest out and then curl my hair.

My dress is green and brown, swirled together beautifully. Every stitch is perfect, and there are no straps. It's...beautiful.

They help me into it as I hold my foot up. My prep team steadies me and Yemenda pulls it on. It took hours and I still haven't seen Marie. Or Blight, I guess.

I hop over and grab my crutches. "Can I go see Marie?" I ask.

"Yes," Yemenda says. "She's back on your floor of the training center. Take the elavator over there." She nods towards the elevator I rode on so many times before the Games.

I make my way over and steady myself as I press 7 in it. The doors close immediatly. Of course nobody else is using it...

When the elevator comes to a gradual stop, I wait for the doors to open. I'm so excited to see someone I _like _for once.

The doors slowly come open and I use my crutches to come out. I see a head popping up from behind the couch.

When I get myself over there, I can tell it's her. She stands up and turns towards me.

"Marie," I whisper and smile, so gently.

"Johanna," She whispers back, her eyes fill with tears.

I abondon my crutches and hug her with my one foot in the air. She starts to cry and I force myself not to. I tell her it's because I don't want to ruin my makeup, but it's more because I wouldn't be able to live it down if the crowd saw I was crying.

"I guess it's time to watch the Games thing and get crowned," I say unexcitedly.

"I know, honey. It won't be that bad," Marie says.

"I have to watch the Games all over again!" I wail. "And I think I've gone insane. The doctors say I'm not, but I feel like it."

She studies my face, concerned. "Well, what did you do?"

"I pulled at the restrains and they had to sedate me," I say, embarrased. "Then they replaced the previous ones with metal restrains on my wrists and ankles."

"Oh, dear. I did that too. And speaking of your ankle, what happened?" She looks down at it.

I hold up the bandages. "I sprained it. Worst you can have. Completely torn."

She covers her mouth. "Oh."

We take a limo to some huge place. When I walk backstage and the prep team fixes my hair and makeup, I peak out to see the stage. A million seats, it seems, are there. And a stage with one cushioned chair. In the corner is a gigantic television where I'll watch about a week of Games smushed into 3 hours.

It's required viewing that I really don't want to see.

Baily is introduced. My prep team. Yemenda. Marie, who gets a lot of clapping. And finally, me. I take a deep breathe and walk onto the stage, smiling a fake smile and waving at the crowd. They scream and stomp and clap and throw flowers.

I sit down on the chair. A little girl, President Snow's granddaughter, comes out wearing a white dress and smiles at me. She's holding a white pillow with my solid gold crown on it.

President Snow walks out on stage and with his white gloves, he gently picks the crown up and places it on the top of my head, inches from my face, he smiles with his puffy lips and his snake eyes seem to stare right through me.

_You don't scare me, bastard._

Everyone turns to the television when told to. It stays black, but white cursive pops up: The 68th Hunger Games, it says.

It shows the entire bloodbath. Escaping from Kirel and spraining my ankle. Then me hiding in trees, watching the District 11 tributes. Killing Amarack. Slow-motioning me watching Hensa kill Kirel. Stalking her. The girl and boy from 11 dying. The camera zooms into the bears eyes and then I come back up, flipping out of the tree.

It shows our fight, brightened by the Capitol tech geeks. Finally, it shows Hensa on the ground, and me killing her with my axe in slow motion. My cheering in regular time. And then hopping on the hovercraft.

Last thing they do is show me waving goodbye to the cameras in slow motion. The whole video stops, and it looks like a picture, me waving and smiling. Then it turns gray.

The words: Johanna Mason, District 7. Victor of the 68th Hunger Games appear at the bottom of the screen. A leaf flies across the screen and zig-zags slowly towards the lense, getting larger. It finally takes over the entire screen and flies into blackness.

* * *

_**Interviews with Caeser Flickerman next chapter! I've been updating a lot and in little time, so I may take a small break. Probably not, since I'm a total loser with nothing to do, but maybe. So keep your eyes peeled for Chapter 14! It's coming soon!**_


	14. Chapter 14: Interviews

_Okay, so next chapter I'm going to start a marathon that consists of Johanna's Victory Tour. The very end will be the end of this story, but I'll make a sequal if I read the reviews and think you guys like it!_

**Review & tell me if you'd like a sequal! And keep your eyes peeled for the marathon- I'll be uploading several chapters at once! (: **

* * *

The night is filled with horrific nightmares. I toss and turn and weep in my sleep, I know, because I fell asleep on my back, and woke up on my right side in an awkward position with dried tears stained on my face.

I sit up, back in the bed I slept in when I was about to go into the Games. In all honesty, I don't think I like this bed. Too many horrible memories.

Like Amarack, who was shipped back in a wooden box to District 7. Suddenly, I realize, everyone is going to hate me back in my District. Because I killed my District partner when everyone expects you to protect them.

What am I supposed to say? Would they be less mad at me if I said he molested me? Attempted rape?

Forget it. I go home tommorrow, and I don't care if people throw dirty looks my way. Because I get to see my family and friends and . . .

I don't have any friends.

I lay back down on my side, watching the door. It's kind of sad that I don't have any friends. I'm sure people really won't want to be my friend now. They'll be afraid of getting killed.

Another thought strikes me. What if my family turns against me, fearing their lives? What if I'm all alone and I don't even know it?

Someone knocks on my door. I open it to find a guard.

"Umm... Can I help you?" I ask, a bit annoyed.

"Come with me, please, Miss Mason," The man says. He helps me hop past Marie and Blight at breakfeast. The look in my eyes asks for help.

"It's okay, honey," Marie says. "Just go with it."

I'm taken in a limo with blacked out windows. We arrive, and the guard half-carries me through a building up to a door. The guard unlocks it and walks in, holding my wrist and the backs of my knees.

He doesn't say anything, just sets me down in a soft chair and leaves, closing the door behind him. When I peel my eyes off the door and turn back around, I lose my breathe for a moment.

"President Snow?" I manage to choke out.

"Hello, Johanna," He says, calmly, as if we're old friends.

"Hey," I say, cautiously. What's he gonna do? Kill me? Please. He can't afford to kill one of his precious little champions.

He places his hands on his desk. "So, Johanna. I know you're aware that you are a fine young woman. So strong, so sly, you were. A bit stubborn. And you're very attractive," He says, smiling a very evil smile as he says the last sentence

"No," I gasp. "No. You do what they rumor? You sell the Victors? No," My voice is stubborn, but catches at the very end.

"Yes, I do," He says. "And if you don't do what I say-" He looks me with his snake eyes angrily, "I'll kill your family!"

I inhale sharply. "You wouldn't-"

"I would. I will. I can."

"You can force me to play your Games. You can force me to watch them all over again. You can force me to be a murderer. But you _can't _lay a _FINGER _on my family!" I shout, pressing my hands on his desk and leaning in towards him with my sprained ankle in the air.

"Ah, Johanna. I am the President and I-"

"I don't care who you are!" I interrupt. "You do _anything _to my family and I swear, I'll beat your ass to the ground!"

I turn on my heel and try my best to walk out. The guard who brought me here is a few doors down.

"Would you like me to bring you back to the limousine, Miss Mason?" He asks.

"Yes. Thanks," I say. I'm angry, which I show on my face, but deep down, I'm absolutely terrified for the life of my family.

The rest of my day is spent getting prepared for my interview with Caeser. My dress is brown and resembles bark. It has a deep U-neck and is snug on my skin, though it has padding so I don't look too skinny. The hemline is right below the bellbutton, and below it the rest of the dress looks somewhat like a tutu skirt, but less puffy. And it's made of silk, with loose creases in it.

I hate it.

Marie objections to heels are ignored. Yemenda says I need them, so I have to get around with heels and crutches on. I insist I'll be fine, but Marie is stil reluctant.

Still, there's nothing she can do.

Because Yemenda's an idiot who doesn't care about my pain.

I'm not nervous, but I know I'm not going to like it. Post-game interviews always have some kind of talk about other tributes in it.

When it's finally time, I use my crutches to get out onto the stage. I hold one in place and wave with the other.

Caeser jogs onto the stage.

"Good evening, citizens of Panem! Here with me on this night is Johanna Mason, our most recent Victor!" He says estatically, and we both take a seat. I set my crutches next to my chair.

"Hello, Johanna," He says, smiling at me, and reaches out to shake my hand.

I shake it firmly. "Hello, Caeser," I answer, and smile back.

He nods, slowly, for no reason. "So, Johanna... I never thought you'd be sitting here with me today. In fact, I'm sure almost everyone in the country wasn't expecting it. When did you decide you were going to fend weak?" He asks.

I collect my thoughts for a moment. "When I first stepped onto the stage back home. After they called my name, at the reaping."

"Hmm... Interesting. You could probably hear the shock of the Capitol when you, um, showed us you were weak, by... killing your District partner. . ." He says slowly. Caeser doesn't have to tell me, he's asking why I did it.

I inhale and exhale deeply. "Amarack Tarall? Yes. I did kill him. And you might be wondering why, so I'll tell you. Amarack called me an ugly, fat bitch when we were in the 8th grade. And then, when we were at the training center he. . . Well, he-" I stop, and look down at my bandaged ankle.

"So, you didn't like him? He was an enemy. . .?"

"I swore to myself I'd kill him if we ever got into the Games together," I say shortly.

"What word would you use to describe him?" Caeser is practically improvising. I know this wasn't on his list of questions to ask.

I look at the audience, at Caeser, the cameras, and down at my hands folded in my lap.

My gaze goes back to Caeser.

"Bastard."

* * *

Sorry for poor language. But, come on. It's Johanna Mason. You had to see it coming.


	15. Chapter 15: Dad, Don't Go

**So this starts the marathon! I will warn you, it's not all that pleasant. Hope you like Chapters 15-18. **

**18's the last chapter in this entire story. I'll make a sequal, though. It'll be up soon! **

* * *

The train comes to a stop and I don't wait for the doors to open. I can't now. Instead, I use my hands to shove them open myself.

A huge crowd is waiting for my arrival, but they don't look too happy. Towards the back, I spot my mother, father, and Zemetria. Hopping off the train, I start to push through the crowd of people with my crutches.

"Mama! Dad!" I shout , my arms wide open. Zem comes to meet me immediatly and jumps into my arms, crying tears of joy.

"Johanna!" My mother says, and squeezes me tightly. "Oh, thank God you're okay! We're very proud of you, right, Ted?" She turns to my father.

He says nothing.

"Right, Ted?" She insists, faking a smile and giving a breathy laugh.

My father turns around and walks away, not even bothering to look back. I stand there, my mouth half open,my eyes full of hurt. Zem looks at me and then mother.

"Come on, Johanna. Why don't we go back to the house, huh?" She says, showing sympathy for me. But I turn and abandom my crutches. If I could run in the arena with a sprained ankle, I can do it here.

I sprint after my father. "Dad!" I shout, desperate for him to turn around and hug me. I really need it right now. "Dad!"

He's getting closer. I reach out my right arm for him, trying to grab his love back

My ankle is throbbing so very painfully, but I reach him. "Dad, please come back!" I cry. My voice turns to a whisper and I grab his arm. "I really need you."

He shakes me off. "Go home, Johanna. Get out of my sight," He says.

"What did I do?" I ask.

"Did you know I am friends with Amarack's father, Johanna? Did you know that he was my escape from you guys, and now he ignores me because you killed his son!"

No. I didn't know. But that wasn't what caught my attention.

"Amarack's father was your escape from us?" I ask quietly.

"Yes! All three of you were idiots for not realizing how much I didn't care about you!" He screams.

A small flame had started inside of me when he walked away, but now this an uncontrollable wildfire spreading rapidly inside my body, taking over my mind and heart.

"Well, then. If that's how you really feel then. . ." I begin. "Then . . ." I'm starting to tremble. "You aren't my father anymore!" My voice catches and as I turn around, I feel something weird. Almost like tears.

I don't cry unless I force myself.

I turn and half storm-half hobble away from him, refusing to turn around. If I do, I might punch him in the face. In fact, my fists are pale white from clenching them so tight.

My mother and Zem are still standing, waiting for me. Mama holds out my crutches and I hobble over and take them.

"Thanks," I say.

My face burns as we make our way back to the house. I embarrased the shit out of myself, as all of District 7's eyes were on me. Me running at my father and having him deny his love for me in public wasn't something I particularly enjoyed.

When we get, 'home', my face falls. This isn't home. This is a home in the Victor's Village. A lot of our furniture is in the home, but there are new things, as well. I think the one plus side is that Marie lives right next door, and Blight on my other side.

As the days go by, and my ankle begins to heal, I start walking on it. I call my doctor in the Capitol, who confirms it's okay to walk on it. So I walk out the door, and run across the entire District 7. Past shops filled with people, past fruit sellers, and past the men chopping the wood in a million pieces.

When I reach it, I grab the doorknob and fling it open. I stare into the emptiness that was my home. I do nothing, not even walk in. I just stare at it. The walls are plain and white, as they've always been. The floor, though, made of wood, has no furniture. No beat-up TV.

The place I grew up in is now just a memory. I remember sitting on the ground in this room and being lectured by father for getting suspended. I remember watching the Games, as people got murdered and got their heads chopped off their bodies. I remember it being scary, very. I remember wondering if I'd ever go into the Games.

I still can't even force myself to move into the room. I try, try to make my feet move. But they're frozen in place, refuse to let me walk forward, refuse to let me go in. Maybe there's a reason. Yes, because it will be unbearable. To see this place- all empty and cleared and abondaned.

No. I can't go in there.

I make myself promise I won't come back, then back out the door.

I take one last look at my home - my real home - and, turn sharply, and close the door behind me.


	16. Chapter 16: The Victory Tour

It's been 6 months and it's time for my Victory Tour.

Do I want to go? No.

Do I have to go? Yes.

Will President Snow sell me when I arrive in the Capitol? Most likely.

And it's odd. I'm not nervous about being sold. Or nervous about what to say or what to wear, of course. I'm not nervous or scared about anything. Except one thing, which, from time to time, freezes my blood, locks up my knees, and makes my muscles go tight- The thought that President Snow will kill my family if I don't follow his orders.

What if he does? He will. Or will he? I don't know. There's no way to tell.

The thought consumes me as Yemenda puts me in a dress I don't care about. I don't even bother to look down at it. All I know is it's made of velvet and it feels heavy on my body.

"So, are you excited to go on your Tour?" She asks.

"No."

"Well, you'll finally get to see all the other Districts!" She exclaims, shocked at my answer.

"And why should I care about the other Districts? In my own opinion, the only District I want to think about is this District. I don't even want to leave," I say.

"Sorry, sweetie," She says in a voice that lets me know she's not actually sorry. I roll my eyes. I don't like Yemenda. She's too... Capitol-ish.

When I'm forced to close my eyes so my prep team can apply my eyeshadow, I almost start to tremble, because in my mind, the team isn't the team, they're just another couple of murderers set out to kill me. They're preparing to stab me.

I open my eyes as soon as possible, and am so thankful I didn't have a panic attack. Otherwise, well... I can't afford to embarass myself anymore at this rate.

Our first stop is District 12. When I get onto the stage, the first thing I notice is how the Peacekeepers aren't as horrifc here as in every other District in Panem. I _really _wish my District was like that- with Peacekeepers who really don't care what you do, as long as it's not completely and utterly stupid.

"Hello, people of District 12. My name is Johanna Mason, and I'm from District Seven..." I begin, and I tell them about how I like their District. But I don't say any words about the dead tribute's family, who are roped off in a special area, because I didn't know them.

District 11. 10. 9. 8. We skip Seven, since that's my home District and that'll be the very last stop. Still, as we pass it, I watch out the window as it passes by, and still sit on the seat long after it's gone.

In fact, I'm still sitting there, muscles stiff, when we arrive in District Six.

District 5. 4. 3.

District 2 isn't what you would call a bad district, but the way everyone pretty much hates me here makes me feel like it is. As I step onto the stage to talk about my victory and such, I glance at Kirel's family, and then...

Hensa's family. Their eyes, when looking at me, are full of hate. How would Hensa feel, if she was on the stage in District 7, looking at my family as they glared at her through eyes filled with sorrow and pain and hate?

I can't even think about it, can't even get myself to look at them again. But when my time is almost up, all I can think about is how I killed their daughter, and how it's my fault they cried, and how it's my fault because I'm a murderer. It's my fault because she didn't kill me - I killed her.

I'm about to say the last couple of lines. But I stand, frozen, as the crowd stares at me, hating me but trying not show it.

I look down at the card I'm reading from. Then I look back up, at the crowd, at Kirel's family, and even at Hensa's family.

I am a murderer.

I crumble up my note cards and throw them across the stage, determined to do this Victory Tour _my way_, not President Snows.

"How about we start this over?' I say. "Hello, people of District Two. My name is Johanna Mason, I'm from District 7, and I am a murderer. To the family of Hensa: Yes. I killed your daughter. And you have every right to hate me for it. I know you do. But what choice did I have?" I ask, taking the microphone from the stand.

"None. I didn't have a choice. Because I was a part of the Games that the Capitol makes. And yes, I played them by the Capitol's rules. Not by choice, no. But by force!" I say, my voice reaching to the very back of the crowd.

I pace back and forth on the stage, still determined. "And yes, I did kill people. But why do you hate me? Because I did exactly what your daughter-" I look at Hensa's family. "And your son-" I say, looking at Kirel's family "-both did. Maybe you didn't know, but both of them killed other children, and there's a good chance their families are weeping right now as well!" I proclaim.

"I would know. I was there. In the District that the families I saw were crying because of what _your _child did!"

I inhale sharply, and stand in the center of the stage.

"I'm sorry you all lost your children, I really am. I know it's my fault, and I know how much you have hated me, still do, and always will, because I survived and your child or brother or sister didn't. I know. But I deserved that crown, and I got it!"

A bit angry now, I say: "And maybe your child did, too. But life isn't fair, is it?" I say.

I put the microphone back.

And walk off the stage.


	17. Chapter 17: President Snow's Plan

The celebation in the Capitol isn't fun. There's a huge party and tons of people are invited. I have to dance with anyone and everyone who wants to dance with me. I've got the creeps, though, because we're in President Snow's ballroom, and I'm pretty sure he wasn't pleased with me over the whole incident in Distrct 2.

As a drunk man at least 40 years old spins me again, I banish the thoughts and excuse myself from his presence. I linger over by the food, testing pieces and hoping Marie will show up.

As I eat a piece of greasy chicken, Marie comes up to me and peels off a piece of my chicken. One thing about Marie is that she's a victor with quite an appetite, and I find it both hilarious and impressive.

"Mmm! This is good!" She exclaims, and gets a real piece for herself. Then she looks at my face and changes the subject. "So, how're you doing?"

"Fine," I say, since it's pretty dangerous to talk about how I'm feeling out in the open. She sees the look on my face as she takes a big bite of her chicken.

Chew, swallow.

"We'll talk tommorrow morning, okay?" She whispers, and walks away, bouncing to the beat of the music.

I smile and shake my head. Marie is such a happy-go-lucky person, even after being scarred from the arena. It's like... an inspiration. She didn't turn to alcohol or morphling or smoking to escape the thoughts of the arena. Instead, she buries the horror with kindness.

Later on, Baily collects everyone and finds me last. "Come on, Johanna," She says. "It's time to go."

She escorts me out, and I say goodbye to everyone who does to me, congratulating me on my victory.

As I lie in bed that night, all I can think of is my dumb speech in District 2. I wish I could take it all back. I probably made the families feel worse. I'm such a horrible person. Why can't I be more like Marie? Kind and caring and happy and filled to the top with love. For Marie, it's glass half-full. To her, every cloud has a silver lining.

To me, it's glass half empty. In fact, I'd just pour the whole glass out onto the floor with how horrible I am, and throw it in the trash can.

I'm hoping to get some sleep when someone knocks quietly and lightly on the door. I open it slowly.

My eyes widen, but his stay perfectly still. He doesn't even blink.

"Hello, Johanna!" He says, and he and a man walk in without my permission. The man is possibly 40, an alcoholic with a stubbly beard and weakened muscles.

"Hello, President Snow," I say as calmy as possible. "What's the problem?"

"This is Garrison." He gestures towards the man, who he smirks and winks.

"And...? Why am I meeting Garrison?" I ask.

"Garrsion is going to be your company for the night," He says, very sly and seductive-like.

My eyes widen. No, no, no. I'm not going to do this.

"Um, President Snow, I'm really tierd tonight and I can't really-"

"Have a fun night with Garrison," Snow says, and gets up to leave. I step in front of him to stop him. Even though I hate him, he can't leave me alone here with 'Garrison'.

"What?" He asks. "Do you not _want _to?" He asks.

"No. I'm not going to," I say fiercly, shaking my head so he knows I mean it.

He seems unfazed, probably knowing this was coming. "Well, then. Come, Garrison."

The door clicks shut behind them.

My nightmares are scary. They're full of truth: Snow. What if he's brainstorming ideas to kill my family at this very moment? In my dreams, they've been hooked to a wooden board and people throw axes at them.

I wake up screaming my head off.

Breathe in, Breathe out.

I'm so scared, that could really be happening. That last small goodbye I gave could've been my last. It wasn't enough - If I never see them again, that good-bye just won't cut it.

It's overwhelming wanting to be in District 7, holding onto my family tight and never letting go, telling them I love them no matter what and thanking them for always loving me, through thick and thin. So very overwhelming, because I know I _can't _be there, and the next time I see them will probably be when I'm sitting in the graveyard by thier stone.

Oh, God, no.

_Please, President Snow. Kill me. Please don't kill my family._

As a victor, I have strength. But not enough to stop him. It would take every District to bring down the Capitol. One girl can't do it by herself, everyone else in the Districts are too afraid to even try and take a stand.

How is it possible I am the only one who is willing to fight and risk her life for her freedom? How is it I am the only in all of the Districts willing to take a stand? I can't be. I know I can't be.

So why don't we already? There _has _to be thousands of people like me who fantasize about what it would be like to be free from the Capitol: Their harsh rules, demands for supplies, thoughtfulless ways, and, of course, the Hunger Games.

There _has _to be, right?

Or am I insane?

In the morning, I walk downstairs and Marie has a worried expression on her face.

"What is it?" I ask. She hands me an crisp copper envelope sealed with a golden colored sticker. Defanitly someone from the Capitol. I head back up to my room to read it in privacy.

Carefully, I peel off the gold sticker and pull out the letter inside.

I read every word.

Oh, no.

I read it again, word for word.

Oh, no, please, be a dream.

One more time.

Oh, no. Oh, God, no.

I break down on the ground and the envelope and letter fall to the floor. On my knees, I press my face against my palms.

How could he do this? What an evil human.

I'm gasping for air. I can't carry on in my life knowing this.

Why would someone do such a thing?

I wish this was a nightmare.

It's real. It's true.

President Cornelious Snow killed my family.


	18. Chapter 18: Nobody Left

The fancy Capitol train slowly comes to a stop. The doors open, and I see that the District 7 has been slightly decorated for the last stop on the Victory Tour. I hop of the train and shove through the crowd.

"Mom!" I shout, and, when I don't see her, I rush to my home in the Victor's Village.

_Please have that letter be a joke. . ._

I fling open the door and run inside.

"Zem? Mom?" I shout desperately.

No response.

"Mom!" I shout, my voice slightly breaking. "Mom? Are you here?"

Still no response. I turn around sharply and run all around the District, checking the stores they go to reguarly, checking places they almost never go. I check Dad's new small place he moved into after he left us.

Finally, I realize I haven't checked the garden behind our house, where my mother and Zemetria love to plant flowers. As I'm darting back there, I silently pray they're there, alive, and happy, and laughing about something that happened the day before.

As I begin to make a sharp turn, my eyes find something on the side of the of the house. Splattered blood. It wasn't there before. My stomach is feeling quesy, and I don't know what to do.

I find myself standing behind the house. The garden is looking lovely.

However, the dead bodies are not.

"Mom!" I gasp, and shake her, check her pulse, and try to find her breathe. But there's nothing there to find.

My father lies dead. I turn, shaking so hard and hoping, hoping so so much that I don't see Zemetria's dead carcass.

My punding heart just about dies when I see her.

"No," I whisper, and begin to check her for wounds. I find a large, sharp, deep cut in her stomach, and I know immediatly that someone threw an axe full force at her. That's the only thing it could've been.

I run my fingers across her arm and down to her wrist, hoping desperatly for even the slightest pulse.

Silence.

I consider calling the hospital, but I know that they're dead. There's no hope of even reviving them. The wounds look like they were from yesterday.

It's too late.

I was too late.

"I'm so sorry," I say to her lifeless body. "It's all my fault. I'm so sorry."

I find an empty spot in the graveyard and don't both asking. I dig a hole and lay their bodies there.

Back home in the Victor's Village, I sit perfectly still on the couch. I don't cry, I don't scream. I just sit there, hoping to wake up any second from a dream. I sit. I wait. I stare at nothing.

But I don't wake up from any 'dream.'

I have to accept reality. My family is dead, Hensa is dead, Amarack is dead. And it's my fault. Yes, there are those people who are dead on the inside, too. Now I know how it feels like to have someone you care about dead. I know how it feels to be Hensa's sister. Or Amarack's father.

You're not dead, someone in your family is. But you feel dead. Because I feel just as pale and freezing as my family did when I found them.

I walk over to Marie's house. She's a good person to go to for comfort if you ever need it. I take my time and knock on the door.

No answer.

I knock again. She would've answered.

Still no answer.

Suddenly I'm worried. I twist the knob but it's locked. Crap. Using my fist, I smack off the entire doorknob and shove the door open

"Marie? It's Johanna!" I call. She's here. I saw her walk in and she didn't come out.

"Marie?"

I dart up the stairs and barge into a room.

Gasping, I can't believe this. Please, no. . .

Marie is lying on the ground. A broken glass sits beside her. Her hand is lying on her heart. I grab the phone off her desk and scream at someone to get a team of paramedics here _**NOW!**_

When they arrive, I pace back and forth as they try to revive her. Place my hand on my forehead, then drop it down. This can't be happening. This really can't be happening.

I just lost my mother, my father, and my baby sister. I can't lose Marie, too. I can't do this alone. People think I can, but I _know _I can't.

"Is she alive? Can you save her?" I ask desperatly. "Please tell me you can save her. . ."

One of the paramedics walks over and puts his hand on my shoulder. I look down. This means something, and I'm trying to prepare myself for what's coming.

"Johanna, I'm sorry. She had a heart attack about a half hour ago, and because she didn't get help right away because nobody was around, she-"

"Don't say it. Please," I say. "I know."

He pats me on the shoulder. "I'm sorry. Go home to your family, okay. They'll be better comfort than me."

I stare at him, turn around, and walk out the door slowly, and trudge home to nobody.

"There's no one left I love," I whisper to only myself.

**The End**

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**Sad ending, I know ): **

**Sequal will be up soon! Keep your eyes peeled!**


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